Thoughts on Motherhood

Erma Bombeck is quoted as saying that immediately following birth, every new mother drags out of bed and awkwardly pulls herself up on the pedestal provided for her. But motherhood is not a one-size-fits-all mold. Some mothers have so much guilt they can’t eat a breath mint without sharing it. Other mothers feel nothing when they tell their kid his entire pillowcase full of Halloween candy got ants in it…. And then sneaks off and eats it herself. Some mothers cry when their thirty-year-old daughter moves into her own apartment. Other mothers sell their twelve-year-old son’s bed while he’s gone on a week-end camp-out with the boy scouts.

We can’t be perfect parents any more than we can be perfect human beings. Being a good parent seems to get harder all the time. It involves more than keeping our children safe, clean and well-fed. We must invest time and effort to enable them to stand on their own as balanced individuals. And individuals they are! Children are infinitely complex. About the time you learn what works with your firstborn, another one arrives and all the rules of the game are changed! But in spite of how it seems, mothers can gain encouragement by realizing the powerful positive influence we can have in our children’s lives.

Although Nancy Hanks died when her son, Abe, was ten years old, years later after he became president, Abraham Lincoln said, “All I am or ever hope to be I owe to my angel mother.” Thomas Edison, who was educated at home by his mother after she learned that his teachers thought he was intellectually inferior, said, “My mother was the making of me. She was so true, so sure of me; and I felt that I had someone to live for, someone I must not disappoint.”

We can give our children more than survival skills. Parents are in a unique position to give their children soaring skills as well. Both “roots” and “wings” are important if children are to develop to their full potential.

A plant’s roots provide security, stability and nourishment. Without a good, strong root system, the plant can’t grow and develop properly. The same is true for a child. A secure loving home provides the fertile ground their tender roots need. A root system built on faith in God provides a sure foundation on which to build a strong, stable life.

While the depth of our children’s lives depends on their roots, the height to which they can soar depends on their wings. The idea of wings suggests creativity, appreciation, laughter and freedom from fear. Wings lift them above the level of the routine. From this high altitude they have a better perspective on life. They can see above their circumstances and become sensitive to the wonders of creation.

Why did God make giraffes with long legs and necks? Why did He put those funny little knobs on the tops of their horns? Why are butterflies such brilliant colors and why do peacocks’ feathers shimmer in the sunlight? Why such diversity and beauty? Because God created us to soar with wings of imagination and appreciation. He “richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.”

God created all of us to have wings—wings to find delight in simple pleasures and wings to enjoy all that is good and beautiful. As we seek to give our children this priceless gift, we will experience the expansion of our own wingspan. --Janet

A CAVERN OF TENDERNESS

A cavern of tenderness is carved out in our hearts for those we love.
A continuous slide-show of memories,
Of sacred moments, joys and sorrows shared,
Embraces given and received.
Of understanding offered, grace extended.
Of distance allowed and closeness cherished.
Of knowing that we are accepted,
That our concerns are important and our feelings matter.

She leaves behind her cherished life,
Her place, the role that is hers alone,
All that is familiar, to tread a path unknown.
In the moment we glimpse her pain, we know
That she will be one of us forever.
Friendships, forged in time remain for eternity,
In a cavern of tenderness carved out for those we love.

A good shepherd gives his life for the sheep.
Years of time measured in prayers, tears and hugs,
The hope, the strength, the encouragement, the very life-force
A healing balm to the bleeding, desperate, and weary.

A divine appointment upon the shoulders of a man—
To build within us greater faith in ourselves,
In God, and in each other.
You release us now, whole and healthy,
Prepared to step into the next phase of our lives with confidence.
You leave us, with gratitude for the years we have walked together as one.

It feels like we are losing you—a part of ourselves.
But often and eloquently we have been reminded
That One cannot be lost if you know where they are.
And we know exactly where you are—
In that cavern of tenderness carved out in our hearts for those we love.